I learned how to lift weights last night, and I think I’ve made another step in my recovery. For the first time when I woke up today, I actually wanted to eat. And I did, a lot.
Something about pushing myself above and beyond what I thought was capable, with this body, this body I’ve had so much contempt for, was healing. Somehow it made it lovable again. It may be ugly but at least it can be useful.
Even outside of the gym the magic is still working. The idea of food isn’t so scary because now it’s just to fuel my budding muscles, it’s not there to stick around.
I know this was just one workout, and it’s going to take a lot more of this to get to an actually healthy lifestyle. But I ate breakfast AND lunch today. Something big is happening.