Over the weekend I visited a crystal shop. It wasn’t because I’m a big believer in the healing power of crystals or opening my chakras or anything, but I wanted to find a stone ring similar to the one that my nutritionist had given me that fit a little better. I found the ring and I now wear it proudly above the one I was given, to hold it in place.
It didn’t end with the ring, though. I had to look at the figurines, just had to, and of course I was instantly mesmerized. I love gems and I love animal figurines… I was in heaven. I picked out an elephant table piece for my ex’s mom- I’m not quite sure when I’ll get to see her again, but I got her a gift because she loves elephants and most definitely deserves it.
Then an idea came into my mind. Maybe it came from all the tiny stone mouths around me. I needed guardians. Creatures to watch out for my well-being, while representing those things in life most important to me. I may not be big into crystals but I am superstitious, and usually of things I’ve just made up in my own head. I’ve also responded really positively in the past to holding a stone pendant that my therapist gave me when I’m feeling stressed or anxious- just the cool touch and firm hold of it helped calm me down and hold me steady.
And so I scoured the shelves for twenty minutes, selecting my team of little stone heroes. I found, and later named, an elite team. Minna, the turtle, stands for resilience, strength, and patience. Caedmon the owl brings me wisdom, insight, and intuition. Nayeli, the dog, means love, compassion, and loyalty. Ranbir the lion is brave, confident, and dignified. Finally, Layak the crocodile represents cunning, enterprise, and perseverance.
I bought all five of my guardians and now every night I set them up on my bedside table. They watch over me; my Guardians of Morality. And every morning when I wake up, I place them all into a little canvas bag and draw one randomly, and that becomes my guardian for the day. I hold them in my pocket and repeat to myself their virtues, like a mantra, and I hope that my extra focus on that attribute I so value and desire will bring it forth in me, if even in just some small way. Either way, it gives me something to hold onto when I am anxious. My guardian.
Today I spent with Nayeli, the dog. I chanted to myself, “Love. Love. I love you” while I held her tightly. While I led tutorials with the kids, I set her on my desk to watch over me. And while I can only say I was maybe marginally more loving than I normally would have been, I certainly felt loved myself. Maybe that’s what Nayeli was there to give me today after all.