The ability to address conflict in a healthy way is something I have always coveted. Conflict scares me, to the point where I cannot say anything until I am so angry that it comes out unnecessarily aggressive.
Recently I was in a position where I had to listen to some truly terrible transphobic hate speech, in a place that I had thought was safe and free of such harsh judgement.
I was infuriated, yet frozen in place, unable (unwilling?) to speak up. I squirmed and I pulled my hood over my head but I said nothing.
In the end the hatred being spewed was addressed and the spewer quickly banned from the space. But I cannot help but beat myself up for allowing such words to be spoken without contest in my presence.
In everyone’s narrative they are the hero, and I am no different. But I failed to fulfill that role that day.
How does one learn to speak their truth in opposition to another’s? How can I ever learn to be bold in my beliefs without giving in to rage? I believe when I do I can at last be the change I want to see in the world.