My Recovery Body

It’s impossible to deal with the changes in my body since they’ve made me start eating again. Most of me stays lean while my bloated gut sticks out like a beer belly.

Eating gets harder every day I look in the mirror. I don’t want to return to my emaciated, unhealthy state, but I can’t stand being fat.

I need to strike a balance, somewhere in the middle. Maybe with some exercise and moderate eating I could at least have something resembling a good body.

If only people saw things the way I did. How am I supposed to be happy when I’m ashamed of my body every day? Don’t people want me to be happy?

Instead it’s “oh you’re fine you’re still skinny” or “you have to eat” or worst yet “do you wanna go back to the hospital”?

I just want to feel good about myself. Why does that have to be so hard?

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2 thoughts on “My Recovery Body

  1. I can relate so much. I’ve almost died from my ED and was almost put in hospice twice and I’ve been hospitalized for an ED three times. I tell people that I look obese and I believe this to be the truth and I hate when they’re insensitive and say things like, “Well you have to eat or you’re going to get tubed.” My parents have forced me into a fake recovery and I’m so much worse now because of it. Hang in there xx

    Liked by 1 person

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