Curse my Blessings

It’s really hard when people love you.

Under the loving, fearful gaze of my family I tremble.

I am forever caught between trying to get better and trying to look better, for them.

When you are loved so deeply that your pain is another’s, the pressure to fix yourself can be suffocating.

Part of me doesn’t want to get better. That’s the nature of my disease. But the part of me that loves and is loved cannot give up.

I know it is a blessing, even though at the worst times it feels like a curse.

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